Magic Mike: Magically Delicious

"So, how pregnant did you get that girl?" - Magic Mike (Channing Tatum).

Follow up with this meme: http://imgfave.com/view/2446651

The answer is yes, it is very possible you will get pregnant from this movie. Why? Because you'll be so hot and bothered by the end that you're going to grab the first acceptable candidate of the male species and get busy. Immediately. Like seriously, it will be unbearable.

Eye candy. Eye porn. Hot. Sexy guys. Dancing. Gyrating. Sweat. Everywhere.

Naked. Naked. Naked.

The air-conditioning where I am right now doesn't work. I'm going to have a heat stroke.

MK says...4/5. There's an extra point in there for the amazing choreography and the unbelievably smokin'-hot bods.

The story was "meh." I was happy that it was deeper than the shallow trailers made it seem. The serious side was enough to keep the movie interesting without weighing it down too much. Without this plot element, the film would have been far too simple. Effing sexy, but simple and dull. Well, maybe not dull. I would have been distracted the whole time by all of the humping.

Also, I love Alex Pettyfer. He's just about as attractive as a boy-man can be. I realize they needed to give him an edge in the film to break him away from his kiddie roles but he looked like a ball of hot lard had been dropped on his head for much of the movie. Grungy? I guess. More like dirty, cave-man-sloth. Come on, people. Couldn't he have showered once in the film? Just once, for emotional relief. Robert Pattinson called, he wants his messy, greasy hair back for in-between Twilight films.

Sigh. Okay, fine. I can't complain about his hair. He is still able to be drop-dead gorgeous, even when looking like a grease-ball and acting as a secondary antagonist. I'd let him roll around in my bed with greasy hair and an uneven beard any day.

Stop it, you. Stop being sexy. I mean it.

Just kidding, please don't.

Cody Horn, who plays Brooke, came out of nowhere. Who is she? She was pretty good, although her voice sounds strangely like Kristen Stewart's. Odd.

She's strangely sexy. Like normal-girl sexy. Simply pretty. It's refreshing.

Fun Fact (via IMDB): "Daughter of Warner Bros. President & COO Alan F. Horn."

Do you think all the male stars of this film got together before filming and were like, "Alright guys, this is it. We need to be comfortable being naked around each other, all the time, for the next few months. You all cool with that? No judging. Hey Matthew, you have a nice ass."

I hope they all cracked jokes the whole time.

I'm having a hard time imagining straight men going to see this, for fear of retribution. Boys, it has enough story to be tolerable for you. I can admire the physique of a girl, openly and comfortably, and you should be able to as well. If anything, it should be inspiration to go hit the gym.

4/5 may be a high score, but I'll let Magic Mike have it. MK says go see it, and judge it for yourself.

I wanted to end with something involving my Lucky Charms reference in the title. I typed in "Magically Delicious" into google images, expecting to find a picture of a cereal box, and this came up...

Ew. Effing gross. You are in a bathtub filled with milk and cereal. Aren't you worried about getting breakfast up your hoo-ha? #daddyissues.

I have nothing left to say. I can't write after seeing this. She better not ruin one of my favorite, sugary meals for me. Until next time, few and faithful readers.